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Break Glasses to See

He wasn’t sure how long he had been there. Day after day, night after night, never really knowing if he was asleep or awake. His mind, completely incapable of wrapping itself around the situation, rebuffed reality at every turn. The people, the place, everything was nothing because he was starting to believe nothing was really there, because he wasn’t really there.

Voodoo Guys and Dolls

Roy Manis was the second shift security guard at the Miller Creek Mall. A blatant bully and overt racist, he may have had a promising career on the police force if not for the formerly stated. He was tops in his class at the academy, a crack shot with a keen sense for detecting criminal behavior, a virtual future shoe-in for a gold detective badge. Unfortunately for him, as much as it was likewise fortunate for the city, his success bred arrogance, a trait that led him all the way to the unemployment line.

You Got Played

“What do you mean you believe her? She played me,” Mason said angrily. The popular quote more specifically mentions being played like a fiddle, as if just anyone can pick-up and competently play a fiddle. You’ll never hear ‘played like a violin’ because of the mental picture it draws. Who would think sitting in any […]

Girls Can Be Bullies Too

There was always one girl in grade school who was monumentally bigger than all the rest of the girls, even most of the boys. I was not that girl. That girl in our class was Maribella Schmaltz. Maribella loved to pick on the smaller girls, including me. One day, having had enough I pushed Maribella […]

Watched Pots Boil

Would you rather suffer pain from a superficial injury or be the guest in the home of a couple having an impromptu argument? Maybe something started out as a joke, worse if it was your joke, and it escalated from there. Maybe it was deep-seeded, and it just took a while to break the surface […]

Lucky Seven

Avoid placing a bouquet of flowers near fruit. Ripening fruit releases fractional amounts of ethylene gas that can prematurely wilt your fresh cut flowers. Do add flower food to the water, trim the stems, even add a little bit of sugar to the mix. Avoid bullets. Bullets and to some degree, shattered glass will remove […]

Strippers Don’t Garden

Depending on the direction of the wind, simply approaching a strip club provides the sort of sensory overload usually reserved for livestock barns and polluted rivers. Be aware of what you may step in or on. If it slips, squishes or moans, your shoes might need a booster. The smell is decidedly biologic, with a […]

Cat Tracks

“Why detective, so good to see you,” I said sarcastically. “I’m sure it is, Ms. Maximine, I’m sure it is. What kind of mess have you gotten yourself into this time?” Tom asked. “Are you a major yet? You guys have captains, lieutenants, foot soldiers, I think you should be a major. Major Tom, can […]

Caveat Emptor

A regretful loser, a person who makes poor and uninformed decisions, feeling like a complete and utter failure and the back-burner fear that you will be seen, judged, and labeled as all of the above. Step one onto the end of the return line at the department store. An admirable alternative such as giving whatever […]

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